I saw a post on Facebook and I feel like I myself have been dealing with this issue so I was inspired to find this FHE (family home evening) Lesson on Agency and share it with all of you. (Lesson Eight: We Can Choose)
During World War II, Viktor Frankl was kept in a Nazi concentration camp for three years. During that time, he could make few of the choices we take for granted. He could not choose how to wear his hair; his head was shaved. He could not choose what clothes to wear; he was given a prison uniform. He could not read or write or talk freely. Someone told him when to get up and exactly what to do every minute of the day. He was treated cruelly, and if he did not work hard enough, he was in danger of being killed.
He later wrote this about his experiences:
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. … They offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms--to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.
“And there were always choices to make. Every day, every hour offered the opportunity to make a decision.” (Man’s Search for Meaning, trans. Ilse Lasch, rev. ed. [New York: Simon and Schuster, 1962], p. 65.)
Viktor Frankl found out that no one could force him to be bitter and angry, no matter how much they hurt him. He could still enjoy the beauties of nature; he could love and show kindness to other people.
Everyone uses agency each day, even if he is not aware of his choices. For example, everyone must choose his attitudes each day as Viktor Frankl did. These are often very private choices that others do not notice. But it is easier to make these choices correctly when we realize that we are free to choose. No one can ever make us angry or dishonest.
The Lord is anxious to help us make wise choices. He especially wants to help us when we feel we cannot choose without help. He has given us prayer and the Holy Ghost to guide us when we choose.
Write down the name of someone you admire and would want to be like. Make a list of the qualities these people have. My list included traits like peaceful, cheerful, forgiving, loving, charitable, respectful and confident.
Now think about your own behavior during the day. What things prevented you from being the kind of person you would like to be?
Rather than blaming our circumstances or someone else, we must realize that we each have control over what we do. We have our agency. No one can make us do something if we are not willing to be influenced by them.
Do you ever feel that you are a prisoner of your circumstances, your moods, your upbringing, or your habits? How does the way other people treat you determine how you treat others? Think about how you could control the events and attitudes that seem to control you.
Life can be difficult and challenging at times but think about how much easier it would be if we just did everything with a smile on our faces or like one of the greatest primary songs:
Smiles
If you chance to meet a frown,
Do not let it stay.
Quickly turn it upside down
And smile that frown away.
No one likes a frowning face.
Change it for a smile.
Make the world a better place
By smiling all the while.
